Figure09
by Year of the Cat Fanclub
Summary: Introspective songfic, song by Linkin Park. Kenshin's POV contemplating Battosai, and the threat of becoming him. Set midseries. No pairings. Written by Tohru.


Author(Tohru)'s Note: The speaker is Kenshin, and he's treating "Battosai" as a different person, or like another personality that takes over his mind. (which happens anyway…)

Mistress of Muses(Kyou): fic written by Tohru, typed and posted by me. Standard disclaimer applies; characters from Rurouni Kenshin, song by Linkin Park. And the lyrics are italicized.

Also, my sincerest apologies. I've had this for over a year… and I'm just now getting around to posting it. As I understand, this takes place mid-series, though I haven't read or seen it.

Figure.09

_Nothin' ever stops all these thoughts 'n' the pain attached to them  
Sometimes I wonder why this is happenin'_

This one does not understand why Battosai comes around more and more each time someone near is threatened. He makes this one stronger, but is that what this one wants?

_It's like nothin' I can do would distract me when  
I think of how I shot myself in the back again_

It that what one gets when one becomes a killer? Maybe this one's fate was decided long ago when Battosai first surfaced.

'_Cause from the infinite words I can say I  
Put all the pain you gave to me on display_

And now this one's friends can see the struggle. No matter how much effort is put into disguising the pain, worry can still be found deep in their eyes.

_But didn't realize instead of settin' it free I  
Took what I hated and made it a part of me_

Will the oath to never kill again be kept? Or will Battosai force his way out, never to return? This one can only hope that will never happen.

_It never goes away  
It never goes away_

This one can only hope.

_And now  
You've become a part of me  
You'll always be right here_

No doubt he will surface sometime, but can he be forced back into the darkness of this one's memory?

_You've become a part of me  
You'll always be my fear_

What would happen if Battosai returned permanently? What would happen to Kaoru, Saho, Yahiko, and Megumi-done? That is what this one fears the most: hurting his friends.

_I can't separate  
Myself from what I've done  
Giving up a part of me  
I've let myself become you_

Maybe they're all right. Those who fought Battosai know this one as _only_ him. Is that this one's true nature? Or can that be erased by friendship and love? This one wonders…

_Hearin' your name the memories come back again  
I remember when this started happenin'_

Can Battosai be stopped? Will his memory be dulled and finally erased with time? Or will he never stop?

_I see you 'n every thought I had and then  
The thoughts slowly find words attached to them  
And I knew as they escaped away  
I was comittin' myself to 'em 'n everyday  
I regret sayin' those things 'cause now I see that I  
Took what I hated and made it a part of me._

As memories flow back, this one reveals more and more of his past to his friends. Can they help? This one can only hope they will.

_It never goes away  
It never goes away_

This one can only hope…

_Get away from me!  
Give me my space back you gotta just  
Go!  
Everything comes down to memories of  
You!_

Why is this one just standing by? Why is action not being taken? Snap out of it, Kenshin! Figure out what to do, and ask your friends for help! They probably hate Battosai more than you do!

_I kept it in without lettin' you  
Know!  
I let you go so get away from  
Me!_

This one must keep trying. To lose Kaoru, the first friend in 10 years would kill this one; death would come quickly if Sano and Yahiko were lost too.

_Give me my space back you gotta just  
Go!  
Everything comes down to memories of  
You!  
I kept it without lettin' you  
Know!  
I let you go._

A new kind of strength is needed: strength of mind. This must be achieved. Battosai, look out! No Kenshin, you look out. This cannot be taken lightly.

_And now  
You've become a part of me  
You'll always be right here  
You've become a part of me  
You'll always be my fear  
I can't separate  
Myself from what I've done  
Giving up a part of me  
I've let myself become you  
I've let myself become you  
I've let myself become lost inside these thoughts of you  
Giving up a part of me  
I've let myself become you_

Can the past be overcome? Is it possible for this one to remain Himura Kenshin?

This one can only hope…

Reviews are greatly appreciated!


End file.
